Growing up, I found my name annoying. I was often either the only black kid, or one of the very few, in my class. I lived in a predominantly white neighborhood attended predominantly white schools from K-12th grade. My name was mispronounced, made fun of, and was the subject of unsolicited revisions. It’s spelled exactly as it sounds yet I’ve been addressed with all sorts of variations, completely disregarding the simplicity of it. The older I got, despite the seemingly oddness of my name and the ridicule it came with, I came to love it. I loved the way it sounded both when I said it in introduction as well as how others said it (correctly of course).
My three girls have simple names. Names that, unlike mine, can be found on keychains and coffee mugs. They don’t have to settle for just the initial nor order it customized. However, I now have a son on the way. Initially I wanted a cute name that I could shorten as a nickname. I was crushing hard on the name Chadwick, Chad for short. You know, like the actor. My husband kinda liked it too but he liked Carmelo better. I did not. We left it alone, figuring it would just come to us. And it did. Right out of a Marvel comic book and movie trailer. We were satisfied but kept the name to our household. Finally over thanksgiving then at a holiday party, we revealed the name to family and friends. We were met with mixed feelings ranging from absolutely loving it to complete disgust. Folks pulled me to the side and asked was I really gonna let my husband name my baby that. Um, yeah. Smdh
I brushed all that off because honestly, I don’t care. I haven’t had any offers to carry this child for not even one second of this pregnancy, none to push him out for me, nor any to pay his college tuition in full, sooo….😞 Anyway, it’s one thing when family and friends have something to say. It’s something else when someone outside your inner circle wants to weigh in. I asked no one’s opinion, not even family soooo again….😞. After maybe a third person, and one who didnt even matter made a negative comment, I was annoyed. Her response was, “well just so you know, he’s gonna be discriminated against on his resume.” My response, “fuck a resume. He’s gonna own his own shit. How bout dat?” No apologies. She had it coming. The nerve of her to speak negatively, and ignorantly I might add, against my son’s future. I don’t recall ever caring enough about what someone named their child to the point of inserting myself into that decision by lending unsolicited advice nor cousel.
It is my belief that men should be allowed to name their sons. Perhaps if it were our second or third boy, but being that this is our ONLY boy and our LAST child, it is only right and fair. Especially considering he had little to do with the names of our girls. In addition, it’s a freakin dope azz name!!! While the origin is sketchy and fictional, and it has no meaning, that is what we have come to like most about it. The unattached attachment. Something make believe but inspiring nonetheless. It is defined by the exceptional qualities of a timeless fictional character. Qualities that we hope and desire for our son. Brilliant, bold, innovative, a leader, unique, proud, respected, and just plain badazz! We hope that he is his own person, unapologetic and a nonconformist with knowledge of self and an unshakable pride in who he is. With Respect for his ancestors and deep compassion for his people. We desire this for all of our children. Not sure how the name will look on a resume….but it looks damn good on the Wired magazine cover.. 😁